How sweet the struggle, I contemplate under the sky of a colorful string of lights attached to a perfectly cut post. Of man’s advances do I live this way, in a suppression of nature, of Nature, OF NATURE so that we may outrun it all.
A toddler, shrieking out anger (entitled to be angry, just don’t hit anyone. Entitled to be hurt and rejected, but not ok to abuse).
A strange scent of pipe tobacco, bbq, and urine = public park.
I need an infusion. Yes, so I have been helped to see that the time for shrooms is sooner rather than later. I won’t be alone, probably not. I never am. Though, sometimes the pain is greater than I think I can bare (bear? holy fuck I don’t remember) anyhow, I think I can’t take it anymore but I am somehow cared for by these energy-riding breaths of powerful nothingness. I don’t understand but I don’t have to. All I have to do is practice the things that make me feel love (that is what is the fuel of Art, afterall).
I’m glad I stuck out listening to the music. It turned out to be really good; quite healing and resonating; no challenge. sweet acceptance of death and the eternal ones who see it is but the gate to where they are. to where they will always be.
Honestly, this has begun to transform my soul this evening, this Living Room Songs by Olafur Arnalds. Dear god, I feel I need a certain strength to listen to this music. Like, it is of a slightly higher grade than I am. Teehee! Truth is so good it taps you into all of human history.
It’s good I had a weekend to unwind. I need weekends to stay sane. I also see how incredibly valuable work is (hard work) to my brain. It is giving me a very solid energy throughout the day. Wow, it’s so good. People are my new workout. I want to stick to my original plan of being the…the walking idea of who it is I will be in the end.
I have a Capriotti’s philly cheesesteak on its way to me. I’m a blessed bitch with a broken heart, a bad past and a good start.
But wait there’s more